Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Postcard #224: squirrel.


Text: 
I've probably written about this before... But I kind of hate squirrels... It's been replaced a bit by a hatred of moles. But...these rats with furry tails? Eh. Don't get me wrong I'm not swerving at them in my car but I'm not swerving too hard out of their way if they run in front of me. My grandfather used to feed them peanuts out of his hand. I just know how destructive they can be once they get in your house. My old house in NJ once got infected with them at a point in the house that would have required a cherry picker to get at them. BB guns are considered firearms in NJ. Airsoft guns are not. I researched the most powerful airsoft rifle and painful ammo that I could afford. I would sit in my living room, inebriated, shooting them when they poked their heads out of the ceiling drywall. I once littered my yard with pumpkins just to lure them. I was in a dark place. I realize that. None died but harm did reach them.

Sent to a friend and former coworker in Bend.  This is a true story.  The house no longer stands.  It is on the verge of being foreclosed upon.  Did the squirrels win?  I still have the rifle.  Occasionally I will see a squirrel in my backyard doing something it shouldn't sneaking into the chicken coop or eating flowers or veggies.  I think...Tom.  Go get your gun.  And part of me wants to run and go grab it.  But the effort it takes now...makes me feel old.  

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