Thursday, January 20, 2022

Postcard #222: "SAD"



12/8/21 (rainy) 41゚
 I love this time of year. I get to pretend to myself and lie to others that the "gray" that lurks in my head year-round…

Can be blamed on precipitation or Earth's angle in relation to the sun or the clouds in the sky and their color or how much daylight there is or how cold it was that day…

 A fantasy that if my cards are played right, the unweather holds out… I can easily get half a year of self-delusion out of it. 

Sent via postcrossing to Broomstick.

So this person was the latest postcrosser to stress me out.  She doesn't want metered stamps.  She would like postcard artwork but only if it's your artwork... no adult coloring book pages.  I did not even have to look at her wall to know she was some sort of postcrossing veteran who has reached the point in her hobby where she can gatekeep postcarding for other people.  Yeah.  Over 1000 postcards.  Does postcrossing send people an official gatekeeper badge after a certain number of cards sent?
I should not have sent her this card.  
The past 3 cards are over 3 months overdue.  Yeah.  A lot of that is my fault.  90% But...some of that is this person's fault.  Reading this profile and imagining myself as someone whose only way to express themselves might be to color in some adult coloring books...then this bird comes along and tells them their art isn't good enough for her.  
Ugg.  And don't get me started on the stamp thing.  
She actually encouraged me to go and look at my profile to see if I was doing this to anyone.
I am on medication now since writing this postcard.  I am still deluding myself though. 

Postcard #221: Happy


I found these stickers in a desk I bought. I hope to restore it enough to actually use it when I write postcards.

I sat down to write this card with a clear intention to write about something happy.  Something bright and yellow like this postcard. I am simply drawing a blank. What does that mean? It confuses and scares me simultaneously. I am not working today. But I am working tomorrow. I have 3 people I have to write postcards for… I am a week overdue. But I didn't manage to find a card that was yellow and happy. That's more than I have for the other 2 people. One of them is stressing me out but it's self-induced stress. I wonder if I put that sort of stress on other people?  But regardless thank you for asking me to look for a happy yellow postcard. It was an important exercise.

Sent via postcrossing to Ryukin.

To give you some perspective how old these postcards are...the desk I mention here is already fixed.  And up in my gameroom/office.  I am in there right now looking at it.  

Postcard #220: Self Improvement


Conversations with my daughter (3.5 yrs)…. a series

"Daddy?" She asks looking up from an ice cream cone. 

"Yes?" I ask. 

"How are you going to make yourself better?"

I chuckled. I know there are tons of things I could do to make myself better. Read more, lose weight, exercise more. But I was curious. 

"What should I do to make myself better?" 

She mirrored my smile back and said drawing out the first word. "Well… you can go hang yourself in that tree?"

 I laughed… we, laughed. 

 Sent via postcrossing to pawarisa_kang.

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Postcard #219: the Expendables

I sent this card to a friend of mine who has been under the weather. I am not posting the text of this card because...well yeah. HIPAA? IDFK. 

I'll probably borrow the themes of it and send it to someone else in the future.

Postcard #218: Bad Kitty

I lived in Miami, Florida for what I would define as my "formative years." My parent's house had a screen porch. Cats and dogs would be able to access it through a special "doggy" door. Having a lot of animals and food outside have the added "bonus" of attracting other animals. Possums. Raccoons. And of course, other cats. There was this BIG orange cat who spent months terrorizing my cats. One night the cat had come onto the porch and cornered my cats and was simply beating the hell out of them. Biting. Scratching. The commotion was terrible. My father went outside with a broom and cornered this massive Orange cat. My young childhood memories remember my father with a Marlboro cigarette in his mouth chasing this cat and all the vet bills he caused to my other cats. He lined up a shot and swung the back end of the broomstick so hard that when it came in contact it snapped in half. He missed. He hit the screen, ripped it, and broke the broom on the ledge. The cat never returned.

Sent via postcrossing to LauBrice.  She wanted cats.  I hope this cat will suffice.  I get the feeling she might not like the story.  Oh well.  

Postcard #217: Dumb


I had to run some errands with my daughter. Oregon has a mask mandate. As you pull further out from Portland proper… people get more… "red." Science becomes more of an opinion or a feeling. So it is amazing how quickly I get distracted when I see people maskless. They are looking for confrontation it seems. They make eye contact. They walk around with their chests out. My brain starts calculating how much of it is oppositional defiance disorder, antivax/provax, prayer warrior bullshit, libertarian/deep state/redstate, lumpenproletariat assery, or just general absent-mindedness.  I work in an operating room. I've worn masks all day every day for over a decade. So, while it's important to wear masks to reduce the spread of covid believe me when I say that part of me just doesn't wanna see anyone's dumb face with their dumb mouths and dumb teeth. I certainly don't want to engage in a debate with them to hear their dumb opinions.

Sent Via postcrossing to hooraybeltran.  I had to taper my desire to write a postcard about Star Trek Voyagers Robert Beltran...Commander Chakotay.  As though he gets that alot or something?  Somehow I doubt he gets asked if he is related to Robert Beltran.  He does have a good user name though.  
My wife said that when she is out with our daughter she has taught her to ask my wife loudly "Mommy, why does that person wear a mask?" or "Why does that person want to get sick mommy?" at anyone she walks by them.  What a perfectly passive-aggressive thing to wield in Portland.  I am going to have to try it.

The card itself is from the Portland Peculiarium.  I have spent waaaay too much money there.

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Postcard #216: DUI

I've never driven drunk. I feel like I need to preface this card with this warning. But I have been in a car with people who probably should have been more sober when I was young and dumb. When I had an apartment in New Jersey I had an upstairs neighbor who definitely suffered from alcohol-induced dementia. One night while walking my dog he wandered around the property with me and offered me tips on how to drive drunk. First. Drive with your hands on the lower part of the wheel and push your elbows against your torso. This will reduce your chance of swaying or swerving.  Making a conscious effort will keep you awake. Which brought him to his next point. Keep your windows down…. take deep breaths. The cold air will keep you awake. If it's raining keep your window open some. So, if you do get pulled over the cop will not smell the alcohol in the car when you lower the window. -TM

Sent via postcrossing to Maltezer.  She wanted dog postcards.  Funny postcards.  I think I got this one at Wall Drug or maybe I got this in Bozeman MT when driving out west?  This is a true story.  He did volunteer all this information to me.  He offered a lot of reasoning and explanation for each point that seemed kinda grounded in measured, tested scientific methodology or maybe it was just secret drunk oral tradition. If only he taught me the secret handshake.  Or maybe that was just his tremors.  

Postcard #215: Recidivism

Original Text:
Beth Lot [?] or L ox [?]
Jefferson St
Oregon City, Oreg

Minnie Wane

New Text:
My daughter is quietly sitting in the car seat. I look up to the rearview mirror and lock eyes with her. I ask again, "Who did you push down at school today?" "Penelope." She answers. "Why?" "Because."  I sigh and she replies. "She was on the playground with her arms out like this." She held her arms out in a sort of crucifixion pose, head tilted back, pushed forward against the car seat restraints.  "You pushed her because her arms were out?"  I scoffed. "No, I pushed her because I wanted to be alone by myself." "Why didn't you just walk away then? Or tell her you did not want to play?" "No." "Why not?" "I don't know." The car came to a stop at a red light. "Why did you want to be alone?" I asked. "Because I wanted to read. Time out means you have to go inside and read. In the corner. So I pushed Penelope down and teacher gave me a time out." She was looking out the window watching a child in the back seat of the car next to us. I was looking at her in the rearview mirror. The light turned green and when I brought my attention back to the mirror her eyes were waiting for mine. I averted my eyes first.

I sent this to a family member.  A future one at least.  Reading over this...I wish I worked the grammar a little better.  Its hard to read when its a sort of stream of conciousness kinda format.  

Postcard #214: Go Fly a Kite

My family used to go down to Bill Bagg's State Park in Florida whenever we were going to go to the "beach".  Once we took a kite with us, and while flying it…its long red plastic tail fell off of it and fluttered away.  It flew over the sand dunes 40-50 feet off the ground. Carried by the warm ocean air it got caught in the boughs of some sand pine trees that stood far back from the shore. Every time we visited  Bill Bagg's park after that you could see the long twisty red plastic ribbon high up in the tree in stark contrast with the sparsely leafed tree. One time midweek on a school night my family drove out there with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. The mosquitoes were so bad you would breathe them in while running from the car to the shore.  We quickly learned you could not stay on the shore at all lest you be absolutely consumed by small flying bugs that may or may not carry malaria or some sort of viral encephalitis. Years later I returned to that beach after hurricane Andrew. The ribbon was gone along with nearly the entire tree line. Poof. -TM

Sent Via postcrossing to ned44440. She said used to be a mail carrier and she loves the ocean.  So i had two cards.  She reports having an intense fear of snakes.  Yeah.  It took a lot to not send a snake story or a snake card.  I think I have a card that has a recipe for fried rattlesnake.  It's like this weird innocuous sort of defiance disorder that sleeps just under the surface.  It's kinda like when someone says they do not want me to send them an AD card or a homemade card...[urge to send them an old MSN ad card intensifies].

Postcard #213: Gum Crumbs

Text:  Pilgrims going to church
   I lived near my school's - walking distance. In high school, we had an open campus lunch and I would walk home. My windowless school literally doubled as a hurricane shelter. So it was nice to get outside. Now, in an effort to familiarize today's youths with the dehumanizing effects of mass incarceration the school has closed lunches, uniforms, and metal detectors. On my way home I would put gum on a fence or on a signpost. In 1992, hurricane Andrew knocked the sign over and it had to be replaced. I had to replace the chewing gum. Slowly covering it with mottled green, blue, pink, and white blobs. I wonder if the post or the fences near my home or elementary schools playground I frequented in grade school still bear my gum signatures? I don't think I have ever left my gum under a table… but fences and posts are fair game. -TM

Sent via Postcrossing to Alterity.  I have had this card for a while.  There is even a chance I have already written it up on this blog.  I found about 5 of them while going through my stuff.  I don't know why I had so many written up yet unsent cards.  I guess I was in some sort of manic phase and I wrote up a bunch at once.  If I had about 5 cards that means I wrote 5 other cards and sent those instead.  I think I started drawing cards randomly and attempting to write a story on them inspired by what I saw on the card.  That seems like something I would do.  Trying to sort of astroturf inspiration.  I remember doing this and getting a bunch of postcrosser addressed from people demanding certain types of cards.  This postcrosser sort of left it blank what kind of cards they wanted.