Postcard #80: Raccoons
Front:
(Procyon Lotor)
RACCOONS
Back:
“Raccoons” US-3901014 www.minormumbles.com
RACCOONS (Procyon lotor)
I turned to my wife for answers. She had none. “They are
destroying everything, right?” I asked rhetorically as the fatter raccoon
pulled a bag of raisins from the lazy Susan cabinet and looked back at us.
“Yes, but…” -> “They are intruders…” -> “Yeah…” She said waiting for me
to interrupt again. “…in our house”…”Yeah…” She took another photo with her
phone. She waited for the one on the counter to look up at us before taking
another picture. “What’s to stop me from killing them?” I said feeling the rage
swelling in my tense jaw. -> “Well. Me, for one.” -> “No, seriously Sam.
What is to stop me from going out to the shed and getting something sharp or
heavy and just getting rid of them for good?” -> “They are animals. They
don’t know any better. You do.” I’ve been with Sam long enough that she knew
I would hate this reason. But it would not be a good enough reason to keep me
from using the expensive knives I got her for X-mas. The knives in the block
that the smaller raccoon was now using to boost itself into the above cabinets.
The big clawed raccoon above was now spilling Sam’s kasha cereal below. The
small one lost its balance trying to reach for it. “You are going to make a
mess, TOM. You will end up doing more damage to the kitchen or yourself.”
She was right. She did have the answer. I should have listened.
Transcribed by jjwood687
on Fiverr.
