There are no pictures of me with Mee-maw. Mother was very cross with me. She said I was being very bad. Because I cried when she wanted me to stand with grandma while the man took our picture. I held her hand. But it was cold and did not feel right she was sleeping but not sleeping. She was standing like she would in the kitchen. Sometimes I would sneak out of bed at night for ice cream and I would see her in the kitchen staring out the window over the sink. Quiet. Looking out into the darkness of her yard. Just like back then I did not want to wake her, I did not want to find to find me awake and out of bed. Her eyes open but not seeing. Her hand open but not wanting. She is still staring out her window but she can see what she was looking for finally because her eyes don't move.