Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Postcard #216: DUI

I've never driven drunk. I feel like I need to preface this card with this warning. But I have been in a car with people who probably should have been more sober when I was young and dumb. When I had an apartment in New Jersey I had an upstairs neighbor who definitely suffered from alcohol-induced dementia. One night while walking my dog he wandered around the property with me and offered me tips on how to drive drunk. First. Drive with your hands on the lower part of the wheel and push your elbows against your torso. This will reduce your chance of swaying or swerving.  Making a conscious effort will keep you awake. Which brought him to his next point. Keep your windows down…. take deep breaths. The cold air will keep you awake. If it's raining keep your window open some. So, if you do get pulled over the cop will not smell the alcohol in the car when you lower the window. -TM

Sent via postcrossing to Maltezer.  She wanted dog postcards.  Funny postcards.  I think I got this one at Wall Drug or maybe I got this in Bozeman MT when driving out west?  This is a true story.  He did volunteer all this information to me.  He offered a lot of reasoning and explanation for each point that seemed kinda grounded in measured, tested scientific methodology or maybe it was just secret drunk oral tradition. If only he taught me the secret handshake.  Or maybe that was just his tremors.  

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