When sickness knocks a person out
Then every thing looks blue,
The brightest colors 'neath the sun
All take a darker hue.
But don't you care, the sun still shines,
And with its strengthening rays
You'll soon be back to health, we trust,
And to more joyous days.
HELEN A. CASTERLINE, Publisher
EDEN, N. Y.
Pandemic 2.0. I was redeployed from being an operating room nurse to help staff related Covid 19 items...infections, hotline, training and of Covid vaccines. So on Saturday [this would be Dec 12th?] I started to feel... off. By
that night I was making an appointment for a clinic visit. I had nightmare of being some asymptomatic Typhoid Mary, infecting the entire Employee health department just before vaccine rollout. I was wearing
mask at home, sleeping and using a bathroom separate from my wife and child. By Sunday night I had a 103.2 F fever. Coughing Fits. Thick globs of coughed agony brought headaches. Headaches/ fever that felt as though my eyeballs were being cooked in their sockets. Loss of appetite with insomnia.
And 2 rapid swabs and I PCR test later apparently it was not Covid. I am not among the chosen few to receive the vaccine. They hope to have all those who handle patients, vaccinated by February. We will see...
I sent this card to ojninni who is a wonderful human being who says she will be happy with whatever card I sent and whatever I write. Blessed are the few! I sent her this card...which after writing it realized with all the demands that people make no one is going to want an antique card with a poem on the front that essentially amounts to a get well card. This card was picked up in a recent ebay lot. I kept the word "Sample" written there in what looks like old black fountain pen. I kinda liked it. Especially since it mentions feeling like all you could see was blue. One time (and I think I wrote a postcard about this) I got so sick with such a high fever that I felt I could only see in blue. Everything was in blue hues. I thought I broke myself with how sick I had become.
So in after game analysis I think I had a combination Tonsilitis and viral bronchitis maybe even bordering on pneumonia. My tonsils and throat were swollen and sore. It would explain the fever and difficulty breathing. I am still coughing occasionally. Weeks later. It scared the shit out of me. I think the fear of it being Covid it worse (stress, cortisol, immune function blunting) This is merely fear based in that I could hurt someone else if I had it and think its a morally justified fear as a parent, nurse, and empathetic human being. This pandemic has broken me.
I mailed this card and the next few cards out with my family holiday card. Which is essentially a Happy new Year card. So what if its a little late? I will end up putting a one cent stamp on them even though they are all going to be mailed in an envelope. I still destroyed them by writing stories directly on them and they are still going to travel. But there is a reluctance on my end of mailing a card INSIDE an envelope. Like I am not being true to the reality of my mission or my blog since it will not actually get postmarked. MY GOD TOM. FUCKING STOP. JUST MAIL THE FUCKING CARD ALREADY.